Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize
