Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
