Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
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That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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