My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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