just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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