i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
