How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
