just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize