I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
