that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
