Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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