i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
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