Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize