I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
