Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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