I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Who died my cat blue again?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
