Life is so much better after having sex.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
