clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
