I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Be still, my beating vagina.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
