curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
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This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
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i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
we should paint friendship bongs
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