Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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