He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
