We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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