we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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