I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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