Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize