maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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