i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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