oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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