i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Randomize
