she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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