belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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