Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Randomize
