Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
