I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
