thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
