So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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