I'd wear matching sweaters with you
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
