We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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