ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize