Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
