Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm sobbing to NWA
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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