he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
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I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
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That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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