just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
