Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I think my moral compass just broke
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
