better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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