How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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