I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
