Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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