Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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