How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize