Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
