I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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