hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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