I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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