dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
