okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
