Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
