I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
