your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
