that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
