he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
