what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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