Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
As shirtless as possible
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
