What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
