all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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