it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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