You're a womanizer and a bitch.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
